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    So if these things aren’t “good” or “bad” then why do we feel such stress when the unexpected happens? We fight with loved ones over our need for control.


    Parenting and teenage dating

    “That’s just in the movies,” says Brett, 14, of Aurora, Ont.

    “What happens in real life is you’ll be hanging out with your immediate circle of friends, including your girlfriend, and you go, ‘What’s everybody doing Friday night?

    Jan 2008 My 15 year old daughter informed me yesterday that she's been texting an 18 year old boy she met at the bus stop. At the time, I talked with her about ''the dangers'' while also validating how good it felt to have someone notice you etc. So, now they're texting and she's grinning and blushing and feeling all special . ) On the other hand, my saying that will only encourage her as she is seriously rebelling these days.

    She had told me about him a month ago, telling me that this really cute guy kept approaching her to talk with her. I tried talking with her about it but she was angry that I was ruining her fantasy and finally said ''Fine! '' which I trust about as much as I trust George W. Any feedback from parents who have been through this? Sign me as: conflicted mother My daughter started seeing a 15 year old boy (on the water polo team)when she was 15 and I had her keep her door open when he came over and requested that his parents do the same. I always ask her to be home by dark, no matter what she's doing, out of not wanting her to walk around alone at night because it's not safe. I offered to give him a ride home but he didn't want one.

    “The number-one benefit is safety,” says the father of two grown children.

    Going out in mixed groups also gives boys and girls an opportunity to just enjoy one another’s company, without the awkwardness and sexual tension that can intrude upon a one-to-one date. Many of us feel that way when we imagine our son or daughter disappearing into the night arm in arm with a young lady or a young man. Eagar advises not allowing single dating before age sixteen.

    I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.

    At recess one day, her best friend yelled over to the unsuspecting boy, “Catherine wants to snog!Furthermore, a parent who is new to dealing with this situation can benefit from the experiences of parents who have successfully navigated those challenging teen dating years!The Desire For Romance, Why Does Your Young Person Feel This Way?I find myself in the unsettling position of wanting to say very conventional things like ''An 18 year old boy only has one thing in mind.'' And then I feel bad. Older guys pick on younger, more vulnerable girls because it's harder for them to say no. They mostly spent time together at school, at lunch, or met before school for coffee. I told her that I wanted to meet him before they went ''out'' anywhere. Just make sure she knows that she can call you anytime and you will pick her up. That way she might talk to you about any things she doesn't know how to handle.Talk to your daughter about different things that can happen when she is with him and let her know she can make a choice about what she wants to do. I also tell her if he wants to ''go farther'' than she does, she absolutely has the right to say ''no''.

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