If you come across as a normal human being and not an over-sexualized creep during the first conversation, well, then you are already ahead of the curve. We started talking, then texting, and he told me straight-up that he'd been separated for six months. I would text him something funny to start off the day, and we would spend the majority of the day talking about what made each other tick. We shared the little things, the childhood things, the adult things, the big things. He must grieve, mourn and separate before he can maintain a healthy, loving, confident relationship with me.I also know that he said the reason why it’s been so slow is because they are just in this robotic routine that has become very easy.Also, it seems that about 40% of the men who state they are divorced are actually still going through the process. That stated, I have come up to some heavy objection from both family and friends – hence I’m here.They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.Needless to say, my anxiety and uncertainty about our relationship heightened and caused doubt.
I don’t have a wide network of people where I live, so I’m online.It's safe to assume that most people can present themselves in a way that looks normal on Tinder. We then went out with friends, which was followed by beer and then going home. Me: slogging forward while missing my life in Oregon. In that twisted way, I started to fall for him, despite everything I knew about him. I wanted to move forward without being hung up on my last relationship. I expected it to be easy, and I wanted him to help me get over my ex. Side chick status until tomorrow." Maybe it was the way we crossed into territory when he said they weren't sleeping together anymore (although he was spending some nights at the house.) Maybe it was when I blushed at the thought of him. Maybe it was the way he was with his son that made me love him. It was the way I knew he was lying to me about how their relationship really was, because we all know that things are more complicated than they appear. It's easy to whip up a few seemingly innocuous lines, slap your most flattering photos up there and swipe away. We spent hours in bed, talking, hooking up, and breaking for more conversation. He was perfectly imperfect, perfect in his imperfections. Him: trying to navigate how to co-parent while figuring out his marriage was truly over. There were red flags all over the damn place, but choosing to ignore them felt better than acknowledging that there were real potential problems hovering beneath the surface. I knew that I was willingly making myself into a sidepiece. I knew better than to sleep with him, but I did it anyway– until I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to find someone that felt good to be around. I’m not looking to rush back into a marriage, but I’m looking to date with an intent on finding a relationship.It’s what feels right for me and I feel ready for it.